Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Well Fuck You Very Much!

Not that I'm one to drop F-bombs unnecessarily, but given the two encounters I'm about to relay you might agree that it's sort of an apt description.

Number A:

There I was, JWA (just walking along) with Frazier the other morning when all of a sudden I hear this big, booming voice yell "LEASH!". Now, It was about 8 am, and I was fresh out of bed. My eyes weren't even open all the way and I was in PJ's. I was headed down the street along the usual morning loop when I heard this. My initial, split second reaction was that God himself was talking to me. I wasn't awake enough to actually process anything, see.

I looked up to see Frazier trotting along and heading toward this man-who looks like a cross between Jerry Garcia and Santa Clause-standing there with inversely proportionally small Westies. He was yelling at Frazier to stop as I was calling him back to me. Frazier, being the curious dog that he is, took another step toward the Westies which prompted Santa Jerry to grab a fistful of snow and raise it towards my dog. Frazier, sensing the threat, immediately came back to me and I put his leash on. I told the man that he wasn't vicious, and he blasted there's a leash law here, and 'all dog owners think that right up until they attack another dog, and my dogs are only small". I told him that the two Puggles across the street from me are smaller than his dogs, and Frazier is afraid of them. He wouldn't hear any of it. He ignored the fact that Frazier was standing next to me, while his dogs were yanking on their leashes to get to him.

-He wouldn't let me explain that Frazier is 10 years old, and I'm pretty sure I know how he's going to react in any dog situation. That reaction is always the same: he runs to me if the other dog isn't nice. He has no aggression in him whatsoever. He's never been in a single fight in his life.
-He wouldn't let me explain that my brother also has a Westie, and perhaps he though Gus had come to visit.
-He wouldn't let me explain that my parents have a Daschund that Frazier has lived with for a while.
-He didn't let me explain that he was being an idiot.

This man lives right around the corner, and since I won't be forcing Frazier to be on the leash on every little quiet street in town, this altercation is bound to happen again.

Letter 2:

I got the following Flickr mail the other day. I'm naming and shaming because, well, because I can:

From: MaLóL

Subject: www.light-bikes.net


Hi:

I´ve seen you have some great photographs about mountainbiking. In our site we have a main banner which background is a picture of a landscape or a cycling related pic. We change it everymonth. We would like to have one of your pictures there, but obviously we need to have your permission first and we would but a small sentence saying the author of the picture or a link to your work or a post in the news section. What do you think? do you agree?

thanks in advance and congratulations for yourpics.
Manuel Torres.
www.light-bikes.net webmaster and cycling lover.


Well hello Mr. Spanish cycling lover! My reply:

Hi there Manuel!

Thanks so much for noticing my photos! I'm flattered that you find one of them worthy of your site. Unfortunately, I don't license my photos for free, so I can not accept your offer at this time.

Many thanks!

-Chris


He replied wondering how much it would be. After talking to the resident expert Dan the Photo Man I replied telling him it would be $100 to use my shot.

This is what I got back from him:

hi:

The picture is not that good for that price. And not even for half that price.

Thanks anyway.
Manuel Torres.


After hearing this, Dan suggested that I should reply "Dear Juan, or whatever your name is. Kindly fuck off".

Me:

Wow. I'm sure you didn't mean to insult me with your reply, so I'll just pretend that it wasn't incredibly rude. Perhaps the translation from Spanish to English only *sounds* insulting. You might want to work on your tone.

Sorry you don't think a shot is worth paying for. I guess it's good enough for publication in magazines and calendars, but not for your website. Oh well.


-CG


He told me that his tone was my problem, not his. Odd, since he was the one that had the tone in the first place.

He added, "we have other photographers colaborating and as our site is non-profit, we don´t pay for pictures which by the way will also give you advertisement."

Simon agreed with Dan's suggestion after this reposte.

I haven't replied again. Mostly because I really don't care if my photo gets used on a Spanish website devoted to the 5 or 6 people in Spain who are obsessive and who's sole joy in life is scouring the web for the latest ridiculously light chainring bolt made by some unheard-of company with a titanium forge located in a dark alley in Uzbekistan so that they can buy said bolt and add it to the other parts they've dug up from the realms of obscurity in order to make an 11 pound mountain bike that no one weighing more than the average 6 year old would dare to ride out of fear of dying a horrible death when all the weight weenie parts simultaneously explode in a mushroom could of carbon and titanium dust. This would probably happen in the driveway on ride number one of the 'newly built weightless wonder'.

Yeah, I'm ok with my photo not getting that 'advertisement'.

Where have all the nice people gone?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

What my sister neglected to mention was that Santa Jerry has never (that I've seen) walked his two dogs on my street before, and, as we were watching the other day, he let them poop on my property! I think I have something to say to Mr. Santa Jerry!

Unknown said...

There are a few nice folks left, don't worry. Check Canada. Sorry you ran into two idiots in such close proximity. May the two of them find each other, fall in love, and move to a small remote island together, with their dogs and stolen photos.

Ross said...

Ah ... it has begun. I've got some catching up to do, but you watch. You watch your back. I'm gonna getcha.

Anonymous said...

I'm astonished at your filthy mouth young lady ;-)

those words fall squarely into my job description

please let me know manuel's email address

G as in Chris said...

Not sure what his proper email is. He got in touch with me via Flickr. I have displayed his user name though. I even went so far as to compliment one of his photos.

Rob Fisk said...

Well I'm a nice person - even if I seem to have lost my 'Champion Potty Mouth' title :)