Tuesday, February 28, 2006

What if's

I've run into one of those situations that requires me to keep my mouth shut. This is a tricky one, though. It involves three people that I like. Not saying anything is the easy part. The situation itself is the hard part, and it's impact on me is minimal. It's hard because I have a pretty clear view of all sides and I see how each of the three is put into a circumstance that none of them really want. It's one of those times when no matter what the outcome, someone gets hurt. It's not like anything I could say would make it better. I guess more than anything, I'm curious about the choices that have been made. Let's face it, this whole thing is an example of the sorts of choices that people make.

Choices can have really great outcomes, and of course, they can result in some not so great things. What's funny is that sometimes we don't realize how the choices we make will affect us until much, much later. That's when regret can enter the picture. Choice and regreat are a formidable pair. When faced with making a tough choice, the ability to see into the future would come in really handy, thus avoiding the possibility of regret. Regret can linger for days and days, even longer than that. Most of the time that large quantity of regret is the work of one, single choice.

The worst combination of choice and regret is when we make a choice that we know is right, and regret it's outcome by second guessing ourselves. Then we have guilt. Guilt is the third member of the choice-regret-guilt trinity. Guilt is the most unforgiving of the three, I think. Guilt can eat you alive if you let it. Guilt is smart, too. Guilt has the ability to make itself known before you actually do something. Let's say that you are doing/not doing something that you know is having/going to effect someone else. You may choose to/not to do said thing, and sometimes you know that you'll feel guility later about doing/not doing it. So in a way, guilt can start messing with your head even before you have anything to be guilty about.

The good news is that we have a choice about how we respond to the various ups and downs we encounter. We have a choice to not let regret get the better of us, and we have a choice about feeling guilty regarding the things we can not change.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's very cryptic Chris!
Sometimes, ok a lot of the time, life is just too complicated and the small things seem to have the biggest outcome


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Anonymous said...

wise words Chris. Regret is a killer. and the impact of small decisions can haunt you for years. I wish life had a ctrl+Z button to undo a few things.

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