A Series of Unfortunate Events

There's been something in the air lately. I think it's the fine particles that get thrown into the air when the shit hits the fan. It seems that everyone I know has had some dose of bad luck in the last week. Present company included. For my part, here's what happened:

-On the way to Onterrible from Montreal, Frazier decided to go wading in some really gross ditch water. It had been standing for a while, so it had that nice green, oily sheen on top. I had to give him a pseudo-bath using a jug of water and some spray shampoo I had the good foresight to bring with me.
-After arriving in Ontario, I got ready to leave for an event 70 miles away only to discover that I didn't have my phone. I'd walked Frazier through a grassy field earlier in the day, so naturally I had visions of my phone ringing away with no one there to hear it (does it make a sound?). I did a panicked search to no avail, and was late leaving for the event.
-As I exited Highway 401 to head to the shop, there was a cop in front of me who suddenly decided to make me pull over. Again, he was IN FRONT of me, and I was on an exit ramp, so I wasn't speeding. He then proceeded to lecture me for 10 minutes on how unsafe it was for me to not have wing mirror extensions on the car to see around the back of the trailer. In that tone of superiority that cops can get, he said he wasn't going to give me a ticket, but he could have. I guess I was supposed to kiss his gracious feet. As a result of this stop, I was late to my setup at the shop.
-When I got to the shop I noticed that the Touareg had a flat tire. I'm sure this happened when I had to pull off the road for the cop.
-The wheel key is missing from my car, so I had no way to get the wheel off so my sales rep could take it and get it fixed. Instead, they decided to take it to a local VW dealership to have them remove the wheel. Of all the wheel keys they had, not one of them was right for a 2007 Touareg. I guess they change them every year, or something stoopid. So, I had to leave the car, and the trailer down in London. My rep game me a lift back to the Random Canadian's house since I'd left Frazier here.
-It's unseasonably cold, and all of my warm clothes, and dog food, are in the car.
-No one in London, ON had the right tire to put on the car, so I had to leave yet another day while they had one sent from Toronto.
-A neighbor found my phone, but couldn't get it back to me until last night. The time that he said he'd bring it over came and went, so I walked down to his house. Evidently, he'd forgotten all about it. BUT! I got my phone back.
-Frazier appears to have conjunctivitis. And I'm sure he's hungry.

Things appear to be improving slowly now. I'll head down soon with Chrissy to get the car, and then head directly to my event tonight. Frazier will get food, and I'll be able to make calls.

Despite all of this, it's merely crabgrass in the lawn of life, as my dad would say. I was reminded by Sideways that tomorrow is the day a very dear friend goes into the hospital to have a tumor removed. Instant perspective.

So, my very best wishes go out to the Genteel Sailor. I know that your positive attitude will yield the most favorable outcome. My thoughts are with you.