Today it feels like I dipped my toe in the pond of darkness. My mood can best be described as 'black as pitch'.
The following is a list of things I'm absolutely SICK of:
-Not being tired until 1am
-Consequently waking up at nearly 10am
-My dog playing like shit and not letting me throw his toy, then being on my ass all day to go out constantly, only to not play well again, thus not getting worn out enough to rest
-The weather-wind, cold, cold, cold, more cold, more wind. I know March isn't supposed to be nice, but usually there are a few nice days then few cold days. All we've had is fucking cold and I'm sick of it. When it warms up, it rains/sleets/snows. Then it gets cold again. It's going to be 60 degrees in Boulder this week.
-Riding like a jerk. I can't get any sort of form at all
-Feeling like I'm working my ass off for an hour and a half to have done only 15 miles for the effort
-Legs feeling like complete shit at the slightest hint of an uphill.
-Being lied to, including lies of omission and finding out things about people that make me feel like a complete chump
-Having no will power
-Having to censor myself
-Not having Simon nearby
-Being shit at guitar
-Being shit at photography
-Being shit
I had it in mind to do 30 miles today. The wind was calm this morning, and naturally picked up just before I started riding and the it became a constant headwind. It was pushing me around. I decided at some point during my ride that I was going to bury myself. This grand illusion lasted for about 10 minutes. I started pushing hard gears, and when the wind blew, I pushed harder, only to have it slap me down again and again and again. I couldn't take it anymore, so I turned around and did the short loop, feeling like a complete failure for not being able to hack it.
I was thinking of Matt who rode every day for a year in every condition imaginable. I was thinking of Simon who is pushing himself through 30 days of riding in wind that puts our little breeze to shame. And I get beat down by 9 miles of headwind and threw in the towel.
Now I'm cold and needing a shower and food. I wish I could relax after that, but I'll have to take the dog out yet again and try to get him tired out so he doesn't want to go out again in an hour.
I shouldn't have gotten out of bed this morning.
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15 comments:
Wow, that's quite a list! Some of the items are complete garbage as well :)
it was actually 506 days :)
I can now add:
-The amount of hair that I shed in the shower
-My boobs
-Not having any clean wool socks
-The shower not warming me up
FFS Chris - you'll have us all crying at this rate ;-)
Pics of the boob issue would help :)
Nice one, Fisk. :~)
Shutyerface, Garrison!
Well, at least the rest of you don't have to deal with this mood face to face! Insert "BIG eye roll" here! :o
...oh, and by the way sis, according to ancient chinese proverb...or that which just came out of the chinese take-out dinner fortune cookie...."Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life"!
Huh, where did I hear that before? Oh yes, I remember, it was when you read it to me across the living room.
Shutyerface, Barman! Stoopidhead.
Holy Cow!!! heavy gravity huh?
As usual I'm full of suggestions but I'm only letting one out.
Re:guitar
Learn to play and sing a song by the Dixie Chicks called 'Not Ready To Make Nice' I believe it was written to be a simple anthem for pissed off people. It's been a hit at family BBQ's and middle aged Wayne's World.
Chords and words will be easy to find online. Simple easy open chords and a very manageable vocal range. Em-D-G-C-Em-D-C....etc.
And remember to play around your singing instead of singing around your playing and keep your arrangements simple easy strumming.
sunny side up dirty side down ;]
"The amount of hair that I shed in the shower
-Not having any clean wool socks"
Knit some socks from the hair.
Or do laundry!
My hair is not wool, unfortunately.
that's the easy option, chris.
It is, and it's done. I'm now back in freshly laundered Drunk Cyclist woolies.
Oh and Will, thanks for the tip. I'll look that one up. I've had pretty good luck finding chords and lyrics on 911tabs. It's the damn F chord! I hate that thing!
I have that Dixie Chicks CD. I'll play the "F" chord for you! Took me a while to get it too. Oh, and I'll sing.
P.S. Let's weave the shedded hair into a basket! :)
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